A Book Unwritten
Tuesday, October 4, 2022
Necessary Hard Things
Tuesday, May 31, 2022
All Roads Lead Home
For some it was the first reunion they'd ever attended, and for others it was ten or twenty years ago. The hard-working committee consisted of graduates who never left their hometown or left and returned. There are no words adequate to thank them for the blast from the past they provided to us in those hours that were just too short.
A delicious meal was provided and or course only Catfish would do. Served with traditional hush puppies, slaw, french fries and cake for dessert.
John Wallace, class of 1970 and Darin Owens, class of 1983 were Co-Masters of Ceremonies. The evening was packed with Pledge of Allegiance, National Anthem sung by Nancy (Seay) Gammill, class of 1969, recognition of Veterans in attendance and a moment of silence for those who gave their all to provide us the freedom to gather on this beautiful spring evening.
The remainder of the evening was filled with recognition of the oldest and the youngest in attendance, the person who traveled the farthest, past Valedictorians and Salutatorians, former Little Miss, Jr. Miss and Sr. Miss Lake City.
Since the evening grew long and people were beginning to leave, we didn't have time for the cheerleaders to lead us in the Lake City High School Alma Mater. For those reading this that can remember the tune, here are the words.
We are loyal to you LCH. To your colors we're true, LCH. We back you to stand as the best in the land, and we know you can stand, LCH RAH,RAH.
So, out with that ball, LCH. We are backing you all LCH. Our team is the best protector, oh boys for we expect a victory from you LCH. RAH! RAH!
I love people and I love to hear their stories. Since we were a small school, we knew everyone. Maybe not intimately, but we knew where they lived, who their parents were, their siblings and other things one knows in a small town. Sitting at my table and sprinkled throughout the building I knew several, some very well and a few intimately.
If only we had time to hear from everyone. Where have you been the past 40, 50 or 60 years? What have you done in life? Are you married, divorced, widowed or have you remained single? Are you happy? Have you had tragedy and troubles? Whatever those answers might be, I knew one thing. Their foundation started in that small town or on the farms scattered around the area.
In every school, large or small, there are students who excel and students who struggle. Some come away with wonderful memories and others just want to forget their experiences in high school. I saw both at that reunion, or at least from my memories. I saw both. They were there, talking non-stop, laughing, celebrating and reconnecting. As we age and live out our years in many different places, in many different types of families and with many different incomes, we sometimes look at the past with different eyes.
We all have different experiences in the same situation. My experience at the reunion was a myriad of emotions. Gratitude, for some of my very best friends since first grade who worked tirelessly to give the rest of us a great time. Thank you, Mary (Nall) Robertson, Mona (Caldwell) Smith, Linda (Malone) Steele, Shirley (Alumbaugh) Smith, Sherry (Wallace) McAnally, Brenda (Ridge) Milligan, and Martha Carter.
Thankful, for my son Darin, who was there for the first time as a Co-Master of Ceremonies. He is one that never left this area and truly loves and appreciates the legacy of his grandparents and the people of his youth.
Humbled, that I feel connected the minute I arrive, though I've lived away from that small town for the past 40 years.
Indebted! I feel I owe a debt to the people who taught me, came alongside me when tragedy struck our family, loved on me and told me I was worthy. Then accepted me when I failed, picked me up, brushed me off and encouraged me. We are the sum of everyone we come in contact with over our lifetime. God uses the people whose lives intersect with ours to bless us as He weaves our individual stories. Lake City and Lake City High School are my roots, deep roots and that is why the minute I arrive, the road has led me back home.
Friday, December 31, 2021
These Hands
Saturday, August 28, 2021
Until Forever, I Will Keep Loving You
- We began our journey on August 28, 1981. Many would say that our marriage ended on December 31, 2020, but that's not true. Today we celebrate 40 years of marriage, me here, where we started, and you in Heaven, waiting for me. I have been without you 240 days, 5,760 hours and ticking. But I'm still yours.
- Is it crazy of me to talk to you, as if you were still here? It still feels as though you've only gone to the store and you'll text me, what, maybe four or five times? I think I hear the back door open and you yell...Linda? And you call my name again if I don't answer fast enough. In the middle of the night when I suddenly come awake, for a brief moment I think I hear you, and then realize your side of the bed is still empty.
- Your toothbrush is still in the bathroom drawer, the clothes you wore to church that last Sunday are still hanging in the closet, your work shoes with wadded up paper in them because they got wet are still in the garage where you left them, now completely dry. I hear the engine of a lawn mower rev up and I want to look out the window and see you, but I know you aren't there.
- You always said you wanted to go first because you didn't want to be without me, but worried whether I would be okay if you did. I am okay, but different. Different because I am not whole without you. Now I understand why you wanted to go first. Though I'm living the retirement life we planned together, a home in Virginia and one here in Arkansas, I am constantly homesick...for you. You always said you could live anywhere as long as I was there. Now I understand.
- You would be proud of me, I hope. You know I hate to fly, but since you've left I've flown back and forth from Arkansas to Virginia five times. When I board a plane I know I will wind up at my destination or in Heaven with Jesus and you, and either place is more than okay with me. I've killed spiders, used a wrench to tighten the water hose that was leaking when I was watering the lawn, bought groceries at your favorite store, Kroger, brought them in and put them away, took my car, that you've never seen, to have the oil changed and many, many other things that you always did.
- Those things are easy compared to the important things I miss. Lazy Saturday mornings together, drinking coffee and talking until late morning. I miss those many hours in the car working crossword puzzles, having deep conversations, eating lots of ice cream from the many Dairy Queens at all the exits you had memorized between Arkansas and Virginia.
- I miss worshipping together, hearing your beautiful singing voice and discussing the scriptures as you prepared to teach Life Group. I miss your quiet spirit, your gentleness, your servant heart, your humor, your hugs, your protection and the way you always made me feel things would be okay. I miss watching you care for your mother. She and your sisters miss you too. Your children and grandchildren miss and grieve your absence. You are loved! Stories are shared and sometimes tears come and sometimes laughter. You left us with a lot of yourself and for that we are thankful.
Monday, February 15, 2021
Fifty Days…February
15, 2021
Today was
supposed to be the forty-year anniversary of the winter Sunday afternoon of
February 15, 1981 when a handsome, blue-eyed man followed me around the local skating
rink in Jonesboro, Arkansas. He was there with his nine-year-old son and I was
there with my nine-year-old daughter. I was planning to drop her off for the
birthday party and go home, but the other moms convinced me to stay and I agreed…
if they would skate.
It had been
years since I’d been on skates, but I bravely laced up and tentatively stepped
onto the wooden floor. After slowly making it around once or twice among all
the kids enjoying the birthday party, I began to have that “hair standing up on
the back of my neck” feeling that I was being watched. When I turned to look
behind me, he skated up close and introduced himself. We left the floor and
moved over to the tables to talk. We shared about our past. We were both
divorced and struggling to make sense out of the past mistakes that caused him to be single at 29, and me, 32.
There is so much
to our story. We all have a story, some
happy, some unique, some unbelievable, some tragic, but we all have one. Almost
forty years takes a long time to tell.
Today is
about being alone. It’s been fifty days since he’s held my hand, told me for
the millionth time, “I just love you so much”, told me I’m gorgeous, like he did every single day of our lives together.
Widowhood is being a stranger in your own life. The unnerving feeling of watching yourself from outside your body, going through the motions of what was your life, but being detached from all of it. You don't recognize yourself. Your previous life feels but a vapor long gone, like a mist of a dream you begin to wonder if it happened at all.
Widowhood is the irony of knowing if that one person was here to be your support, you would have the strength to grieve that one person. The thought twists and confuses you. If only they were here to hold you and talk to you, you'd have the tenacity to tackle this unwanted life. To tackle the arduous task of moving on without them.
Widowhood is missing the one person who could truly understand what is in your heart to share. The funny joke, the embarrassing incident, the fear compelling you or the frustration tempting you. To anyone else, you would have to explain, and that is too much effort, so you keep it to yourself. And the loneliness grows inside you.
Widowhood is struggling with identity. Who are you if not their spouse? What do you want to do if not the things you planned together? What brand do you want to buy if not the one you two shared for all those years? What is your purpose if the job of investing into your marriage is taken away? Who is my closest companion when my other half isn't here?
Widowhood is feeling restless because you lost your home, identity, partner, lover, friend, playmate, travel companion, co-parent, security, and life. And you are drifting with an unknown destination.
Widowhood is living in a constant state of missing the most intimate relationship. No hand to hold. No body next to you. No partner to share your burden.
Widowhood is being alone in a crowd of people. Feeling sad even while you're happy. Feeling guilty while you live. It is looking back while moving forward. It is being hungry but nothing sounding good. It is every special event turning bittersweet.
Yes. It is much more than simply missing their presence. It is becoming a new person, whether you want to or not. It is fighting every emotion mankind can feel at the very same moment and trying to function in life at the same time.
Widowhood is frailty.
Widowhood is strength.
Widowhood is darkness.
Widowhood is rebirth.
Widowhood....is life changing."
By: Alisha Bozarth
Wednesday, January 1, 2020
A House Becomes Home
Ordinary sounds so...well, ordinary. But don't we consider most of our days ordinary? Yet when we look back, we tend to see and remember the special times, and suddenly realize that many of those times happened on ordinary days.
This is a picture of an ordinary house in Sherwood Hills, Colonial Heights, Virginia. A rent house for many years, it was worn and weary from neglect when we bought it in September of 1992. It needed a new roof, had termites on the front shutters, was outdated with shag carpet the color of bad celery, and the downstairs was as dark as a dungeon. Saying it was an ordinary house is being quite generous. Not only did I not love this house, I didn't even like it. But it was what we could afford and had what we needed.
So began a twenty-seven year saga. And since the definition of magic implies wizardry or supernatural forces, I'm changing it to blessing. Because only God could bless us with so many ordinary days in that humble house that were so good, that leaving was so very, very hard.
Saturday, December 15, 2018
Todd and Brittany, Wedding Day, December 15, 2018
And again...to a sister, Ashley.
They adore you! They've watched you through the years as you focused on earning your bachelors' degrees, and then working full-time and successfully completing your master's degree. You have been and still are their role model, and you live that title well.
And then a puppy... Andy.
God blessed you with a quiet, reserved personality, but those who know you best also know that He gave you a perfectly awesome sense of humor, too. Your best man Bryan, has been your best friend since first grade, and the two of you have shared crazy times, serious times and everything in between. You played soccer, loved skate boarding, video games and snowboarding. You became a licensed real estate appraiser at the young age of eighteen, bought and paid for a new car, finished college and bought your first house. We have always been so proud of you. You are a hard worker, with integrity, honesty and commitment. I love you more than you will ever know and I'm so excited to see your future unfold.
This is your wedding day. You are marrying the first girl you kissed, way back in middle school. On Valentines day,when you were in seventh grade and she was in eight grade, Brittany gave you this teddy bear. Though you both went your own way after that brief middle-school romance, you met up again in 2011 and have been together since. Before this day is done you will be husband and wife. God is good and His will for us is perfect.
Then Iceland happened. Todd was prepared. He'd had the ring for a while, and when the opportunity to travel to Iceland for a photo shoot presented itself, he knew that would be the perfect place for a proposal.
Wedding plans began immediately. Longtime friends and family members were asked to be a part of your special day. Kumiko, the matron of honor, and childhood friend took her role seriously and a beautiful wedding shower was planned.
Todd and Brittany, today, December 15, will be a date to celebrate each year as you remember the vows you will say to one another before your family and friends. Marriage is God's gift to us on earth. Be thankful for each other, nurture each other and grow together and not apart. God in the center of your marriage will give you many happy years.
Colossians 3:12-15 Therefore, God's chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. Above all, put on love, the perfect bond of unity.And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body, control your hearts. Be thankful.
Our hearts are full with love for you both. May God richly bless your marriage and your home.
Nana and Papaw